4ngelo:

theodorepython:

miami-tea:


The Defibrillator Toaster
My mom would be so annoyed… every morning I would run into the kitchen screaming “WE’RE LOSING THEM!!! BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP!”
“DON’T YOU DIE ON ME, DAMNIT!!!  NURSE, WE NEED 12 CC’S OF CREAM CHEESE, STAT!!!”
He’s bread, Jim.
Time of deliciousness: 7:15 A.M
If we don’t restart his heart , he’s toast! 
JESUS CRUST.
JAM IT!
“Daddy’s in a butter place now, kids.”

I WASN’T EVEN GOING TO REBLOG UNTIL I SAW THE SHIT TON OF PUNS

HES BREAD JIM

JESUS CRUST

4ngelo:

theodorepython:

miami-tea:

The Defibrillator Toaster

My mom would be so annoyed… every morning I would run into the kitchen screaming “WE’RE LOSING THEM!!! BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP!”

“DON’T YOU DIE ON ME, DAMNIT!!!  NURSE, WE NEED 12 CC’S OF CREAM CHEESE, STAT!!!”

He’s bread, Jim.

Time of deliciousness: 7:15 A.M

If we don’t restart his heart , he’s toast! 

JESUS CRUST.

JAM IT!

“Daddy’s in a butter place now, kids.”

I WASN’T EVEN GOING TO REBLOG UNTIL I SAW THE SHIT TON OF PUNS

HES BREAD JIM

JESUS CRUST

(Source: secretsbest)

bitelchus:

swatlock:

Pop Culture References in Shrek 2 (1/?)

Click the gifs for more information

OH MY GOD, IM SO GLAD I FOUND THIS ON MY DASH.

I´VE BEEN LOOKING FOR IT FOR AGES. 

pmon3y69:

drdawg:

my friend Pete literally makes me cry with his snap stories

this is me, i am pete, love me 

princekurlz:

cutie-hanji-zoe:

toxxic-fairyy:

This guy has the biggest balls

i just have one question to ask you son

did she say yes?

"yes"

hell ye

that ending.

(Source: my-jane-doe)

superwholocked-in-albion:

jeankd:

thegoddamazon:

The most important line in the whole damn song. MESSAGE.

The only historically accurate line in the whole film. 

excuse u

superwholocked-in-albion:

jeankd:

thegoddamazon:

The most important line in the whole damn song. MESSAGE.

The only historically accurate line in the whole film. 

excuse u

fruitsofapathy:

SPRING JOKES.

On a side note, I really hate Tumblr’s lack of photoset options.